Syahirah.

I am having mood swings now. I feel bad. I feel disappointed at myself. Should I or should I not now? I feel bad for wanting to leave, but I don't have the heart to, man. I may seem cruel uh. But if this is the best I could think of, what should I do then? You see, kite mataer, we don't seem like one. It's okay. But I am lonely on the other hand, not having enough of what I expected from a boyfriend, that's a little bit too much for me to accept. I don't wanna continue feeling lonely silently whilst he on the other side, not knowing the real truth. Honestly, I feel that it's best decision because i know, you don't wanna lose me, and I too wanna have happiness, even by having you by my side. Once we're single, and we're friends, I wouldn't expect much from you and I won't feel so much of negligence and loneliness when you're around. I frankly feel that our bond are tighter when we're friends. Now that we have each other, it doesn't seems like I'm special to you. I'm not being so illogical, not giving you a chance. I am just afraid that if I were to give you, you'll try and once I notice that it's back to where we were, when there's negligence and loneliness, the fight/argument will be far worst than this. I wouldn't wanna get you hurt nor I wanna get another big argument. I hope once it's all settled, I can take you as a friend that I love the most and also the man that would take me for date until your NS is done and that's when we can look up for serious relationship. I know that now, if we're together, I couldn't expect much from you due to NS. Yes, you will never lose me. We're still friend. Or maybe best friends, that I can assure you. Even more in the future, after your NS.